Lecture 4

* 1. These are signs that you are unable to control yourself:

1. Never complete tasks
2. Cannot control your tongue (words of your mouth)
3. Over-spending
4. Lack of time management
5. All the above

* 2. Keeping boundaries at work is essential; which one of these answers is NOT a sign of lack of control at work?

1. Being a workaholic
2. Holding stress of work away from home
3. Taking abuse from co-workers
4. Over expectations at work

* 3. Keeping boundaries with friends after marriage is important in these aspects:

1. Types of friends; single vs married, with children vs without.
2. Amount of time spent with friends
3. One of the couple must agree is enough
4. Type of outings/travel…etc
5. Amount of time spent
6. All the above

* 4. Love and boundaries should be hand in hand because:

1. Love does not abolish respect
2. Love does not allow abuse
3. Sexual relations need acceptance, comfort and agreement
4. Allocating responsibilities is important
5. All of the above

* 5. True or False: an inability to accept boundaries may indicate a problem in taking responsibility.

1. True
2. False

* 6. What do you say to your colleague or boss who always brings in a two-day job half a day before a deadline?

1. Happy to do it
2. This is too much, I can’t take it anymore
3. It seems you are always brining any extra work to me
4. I have other work to finish first, I will be happy to do it once I finish mine. Would this task can wait or you prefer to give it to others else who may not be as busy as the present time?

7. If you want your spouse to accept your new boundaries make sure that he/she feels that his/her boundaries are accepted as well. Sometimes this means that you have to ask him/her a few questions that can be quite uncomfortable for you, chose one that is appropriate to you:

1. Do you feel I respect your right to say no to me?
2. Do I give you guilt messages (for instance by crying), withdrawing, becoming angry, or attacking you when you set a limit
3. Will you let me know the next time when I don't respect your freedom?
4. All of the listed answers

* 8. Some in-laws do not understand the concept of separation and will always break boundaries by doing one or more of these:

1. Concentrating on defects only.
2. Taking sides
3. Too many questions asking for fine details
4. Fighting with the other in-laws
5. All of the above.

* 9. A common boundary problem is preventing a financial disaster if one spouse just loves to shop extravagantly and permanently spends more than the family can afford. Putting limits on spending by (choose most appropriate):

1. Making a clear financial report of income, expenses and expectations
2. Make one spouse completely in charge of all finances.
3. The spouse who earns more salary should be the one making the decision in spending.
4. The spouse who is not able to control spending, should attend educational classes.

10. People have various problems when it comes to dealing with money, such as: (Choose the main area you as a couple is suffering from) Plan to discuss with your fiancé the methods on how to put remedies for it, please be honest with yourself.

1. Impulse spending
2. Careless budgeting or not budgeting at all
3. Living beyond their means
4. Credit problems
5. Chronic borrowing from friends
6. Working more to pay the bills